Never eat Ramen Near a DSL
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: InuYasha's attempt at stealing this author's ramen results in all types of insanity and now a bunny suit for a certain youkai
1. Chapter 1: Where I Learn my First Lesson

Never Eat Ramen by a DSL (Direct System Link) 

Warning: The authoress was under the influence of hunger, inedible cookies, and some boredom. You will be reading this at your own risk. Thank you.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, InuYasha or ramen…well, I own ramen I just don't _own_ ramen. All I own is this bad storyline and my name.  And if you sue, all you'll get is a vase full of pennies.**

**Chapter one: The part where I learn my first lesson**

            I was sitting at my computer one day pondering the meaning of life and thinking about what would happen if I put Sesshomaru in pink bows and gave him a tutu in my next story when the timer for my microwave went off.

            "Finally," I exclaimed to myself, "my ramen's done!" I leaped from my spot at the computer and scooted the scant twelve feet (AN: Yes, I measured it) to my microwave and popped it open. "Oh sweet bliss that is ramen." I sighed, and then pulled out a fork to eat some. "Ow, ow ow! Stupid ramen, why do you have to be so hot?" (AN: I think I sound too much like Homer Simpson in this one) After that, I fanned my tongue as if that would really help. "Oh, never mind, I'll just sit it down on the computer desk and wait for the stuff to cool off."

             Walking back to my computer, I set the cup of ramen down then sat down myself. Staring at the computer screen again I commenced to wondering what Miroku would look like in a Sailor Senshi fuku. (AN: Think SailorChibiMoon's fuku on Miroku…or maybe SailorJupiter's, hey it has potential) Pondering this, I completely forgot about my DSL modem and the fact that it was always on. Not that I usually think about it anyway, I mean, why would I think that InuYasha would try to steal ramen from a computer. That only happens in fan fictions, right? Oh wait, this is a fan fiction! Uh oh!

So anyway, I started typing away with the idea of Sesshomaru in a pink tutu with pink bows in his hair and Miroku as SailorChibiMoon. They had just defeated Queen Beryl when I noticed a familiar clawed hand reaching through the screen for my bowl of ramen.

"Mmm, delicious ramen goodness." A male voice sighed, " I finally have found you after wandering the web."

The lights finally came on in my head. "Oh hell no InuYasha, you aren't getting that ramen! I worked too hard to get it cool enough to eat." Then I slapped him on the hand.

"Ow! Bitch! That hurt!" And InuYasha withdrew his hand a bit into the screen to hold it against himself.

"Wait, you just called me a BITCH?! And you still want my ramen? I think Kagome sat you one too many times."

"Feh," Was the answer that the computer/InuYasha gave me. "Well, you hit me, what did you expect."

"Well, I guess I expected you to retreat back into cyber-space. What are you doing in the computer anyway?" My curiosity was finally getting the better of me. It was even over-coming my hunger and need for ramen, but InuYasha didn't need to know that was the case. Oh no, he just needed to think that I wasn't interested in why and that I still wanted my ramen.

"Well…feh, I'm not telling you anything."

I looked up at him slyly. "Not even for your own bowl of yummy in the tummy ramen?" I knew I sounded like I was talking to a toddler instead of some inu hanyou who looked to be a few years younger than me, but was definitely hundreds of years older than me. Of course, I also didn't really give a damn. Besides, I could tell from the look in his eyes, I had gotten InuYasha's attention.

"Feh, I can get my own ramen from Kagome _anytime_ I want to."

"Yeah, but how can you be sure she won't have spiked it or anything? I mean, I saw the last episodes they've aired here in the Americas and I don't think Kagome's still very happy with you."

"What do you mean wench?"

"Grr, you are so juvenile! Calling me names like that, the only person who does that is my twelve-year-old cousin."

InuYasha looks a bit ashamed. "So then, what is your name? And why do you think my Kagome would do something to my ramen?"

"Well, I'm not giving out my real name for the sake of secrecy, but I'm known as Chibi Horsewoman in most domains…well, except for on MSN, but that's another story. As for Kagome doing something well, I think you made her angry for running off with Kikyo. Gods, don't you realize that she's trying to kill you? I mean, she has pulled a knife on you, and she wants you to go to _HELL!_ That's not exactly the best grounds for a relationship InuYasha."

"But, Kogome told me she doesn't care." InuYasha whined suddenly. "Why would she say that if she cared and now would do something to my ramen?"

"Gods, you men are all clueless! Even the ones who are half dog demon! She said that so you wouldn't feel bad. Also because she's not quite sure about your relationship and feelings towards her." I finished by repeatedly smashing my head into the computer desk I felt  like I was hosting a talk show about dense guys and the reincarnations that love them. 

"Oh, so I should tell her how I feel Chibi?" InuYasha asked incredulously.

'Gods, he is a dense moronic hanyou!' I thought exasperated. 'I'm actually beginning to agree with Sesshomaru about his stupidity.' Out loud I said, "Gods, you really are slow. I'm almost about to agree with your brother about how aggravatingly slow you are!"

"You talk to Sesshomaru? I'll kill him!"

'Yeah, like every night, he's on my speed dial. On Saturdays we go shopping then do each other's hair." I replied sarcastically.

"Really?" InuYasha sounded like he really believed me.

"No, not really. Now go away."

"No, I will not go away until you give me my ramen"

"Uh, wait? Did you just tell me to give you _your_ ramen?" 

I guess I must've sounded quite threatening since InuYasha just nodded sheepishly.

"Oh no I don't think so!"

"You give it to me or I'll…I'll…I'll do something so bad…so bad I haven't even thought of it yet."

I smiled evilly. "Really? Well, get back to me when you think of it." And with that I began shoving InuYasha back into my computer. Unfortunately, I didn't act fast enough because InuYasha had finally decided on what bad thing he was going to do to me. He took my ramen in one hand and with his other grabbed my wrists. I was being pulled into feudal Japan through cyber-space. My last thought was damn, I hope Miroku doesn't grope me before I come to.

Okay, like it or hate it, I would like reviews anyways.


	2. Chapter 2: Sharing can Save Your Life

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**Never eat Ramen Near a DSL** **Chapter Two: Sharing can Save Your Life**

**Warning: The authoress has now ingested five cookies, a s'mores pop tart, and two cans of Coca-Cola. This is going to be so messed up. So just remember, you read at your own risk!**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own InuYasha since well; he's too damn expensive. I also don't own the Coca-Cola bottling company or Kellogg's Pop Tarts. I do however own my insanity and my email address. So this is how it's gonna be!**

The falling finally ended in a grassy field, which smelled faintly of manure and sulfur. Trust me people, not something you want to bottle and sell at Bloomingdale's, hell you wouldn't try to sell it at Family Dollar! Anyways InuYasha landed in this smelly field on both legs, however this unfortunate authoress landed on her back and underfoot. The bowl of ramen happened to be the luckiest of us three, it landed safe in its bowl a yard away.

            "InuYasha?" I asked when I regained a normal breathing pattern. "InuYasha, you're crushing my solar plexus, can you please get off of me?"

            InuYasha looked down at me confused, he obviously had no idea what a solar plexus was, well, to be honest, neither do I. "I'm doing what to you wench?" He finally asked with all the tact of ten InuYashas.

            "You're crushing me!" I squeaked out. "Get off!"

            InuYasha complied and I stood on my own two feet. Something I had been wanting to do for the past three grueling minutes.

            "Is that better wench?" 

            I glared at him. "Well, it was, until you called me wench, now I just really want to go home."

            "Touchy. Look, we really should get going. There's youkai in the forest and I don't think you want to get eaten."

            "You mean you don't want your ramen to get eaten." I growled.

            "Exactly."

            So we began to walk. And the whole thing was really boring. Extremely boring, I think I had more fun in my intro to soils and waters class. I decided to tell InuYasha that. Bad choice

            "Feh, wench, be quiet!" InuYasha snapped. "I smell my brother coming this way. Sesshomaru is not known for his kindness towards humans. Except, maybe you since you go and do all that strange stuff on Saturdays."

            I twirled my ponytail nervously, hey I can't help it, I have nervous tendencies in strange situations. Let me tell you, nothing is stranger than be sucked through your computer by an anime character! "Uh yeah well, you see...I...." I never got to finish my sentence because there was a crash in the brush just left and behind us and out popped the great youkai of the West himself, Sesshomaru Sama.

            "Well, little brother I see you have found yourself another human wench." Sesshomaru stated coldly. Then he sniffed me, _that_ people is one of the most embarrassing situations I've ever encountered. "She smells even stranger than Kagome. Tell me girl, what is your name?"

            My head was beginning to spin. 'Girl, wench? These two are _definately _brothers!' I thought to myself. "My name?" I asked innocently. "My mother said I shouldn't give out my name to strangers."

            InuYasha looked shocked. "But _you_ said that you and Sesshomaru went shopping all the time!" The bewildered hanyou exclaimed. "So why wouldn't he know your name?"

            "This human said I do _what_ with her?!" Sesshomaru gasped. The usually regal looking youkai with the face of stone now sounded as shocked as InuYasha looked and his face was contorted in all sorts of directions. 

            "Uh, InuYasha, I was being sarcastic. You know that thing where someone doesn't mean what they say." I replied quickly, still doing the nervous hair-twirling thing. 

            "You _lied_ about _this_ Sesshomaru sama, human?" Sesshomaru had crossed the four feet of space between the bushes and me and now leaned in front of my face. "You shall die for this insolence."

            'Mommy!' I thought to myself, trying not to cower. 'No, no dying. That would just suck on so many levels. Dammit think!'

            "Have you anything to say before I slay you?"

            "Yes, please don't do it." I answered thrusting my arms to my hips so I'd stop doing the nervousness stuff. "If you don't kill me, I'll give you this bowl of yummy ramen!" I mentally patted myself on the back for this ingenious idea and held out the well traveled bowl of instant ramen

            "Foolish human. This Sesshomaru doesn't eat human food. It's beneath me."

            "Hey Chibi, that's _my _ramen!" InuYasha whined from the sidelines.

            Sesshomaru's face brightened a bit, although he tried to hide it. It seemed that the thought of taking something that his hated half brother wanted so much brought him pleasure. "On second thought, I believe I shall take your ramen human food and spare your life. This Sesshomaru is feeling generous today."

            He then took the steaming Styrofoam bowl of ramen and left InuYasha and I to our own devices.

            "Dammit wench! You let my brother take _my_ ramen." InuYasha exclaimed angrily.

            "Yes, and found that he's be perfect in a pink tutu. Not to mention _I saved both our lives!_" I sighed loudly and wished for the power to make him sit like Kagome did.

            "Feh, whatever. Let's get going back to Kaede Baba's village." InuYasha began walking quickly in the direction of Kaede's village.

            "Hey, wait up, baka! I don't know my way around here yet!" I hated sounding like such a whiny little girl, but hey, it was the truth. Besides, wouldn't you be tired and stressed out after being yanked through a computer and facing down Sesshomaru?

            "Feh, whatever." The hanyou muttered. Next thing I know, I'm being dragged along towards the village then lifted like a sack of potatoes onto his back.

            'He'd better not drop me.' I kept thinking over and over as we swooped over trees.

            **_Fin_.**

**            Sorry about the delay. But my computer decided to vote me off the hard drive. Okay. So I hope you liked this chapter. That's really about it so review and I'll consider putting you on my Christmas/Yule/Chanukah list. Peace!**


	3. Chapter 3: Let's all Stand Back and Admi...

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**Never Eat Ramen Near a DSL**

**Chapter Three: Let's all Stand Back and Admire The Wonder That is Miroku**

**Authoress' Warning: There is none!**

**Disclaimer: Uh, hello, why do I need one of these things again? Oh yeah, because I don't own InuYasha. All I own is myself and this insane idea. Dammit!**

            InuYasha and I finally arrived in what must've been Kaede baba's village. As we touched down I noticed a semi-familiar group of people gathering in front of a hut. There was a girl in a Japanese school uniform, a girl wearing a kimono with a rather large boomerang strapped to her back, a small boy who resembled a fox, and of course a young man who looked like a priest. These people were Kagome, Sango, Shippou, and Miroku.

            "Oy InuYasha!" Called Kagome as the hanyou came to a rather bumpy landing. "Where did you run off to again?"

            "Gomen, Kagome, but...."InuYasha began to blush tomato red and stutter.

            "But he jumped through my computer on my DSL connection and tried to steal my ramen." I explained quickly. 

            The young school girl looked from the hanyou she was about to sit to me, the poor displaced person. "And who are you?"

            "I'm Chibi." 

            "No you're not." Miroku interrupted. 

            "I am too Chibi," I retorted, then began digging around in my jeans pockets for any type of ID which would prove me to be Chibi. But wouldn't you know it? I left everything at home.

            "Young lady, you're not chibi." Then the young monk took both my hands in his and began his most overly used pick up line. "Miss, would you bear my child?"

            "I...I can't. I'm sorry."

            "Why not?"

            I pretended to think really hard then found my reply, "Because I'm just not quite ready to be in a relationship with a man of your stature and presence."

            Miroku fell over in a dead faint and the rest of the group just gave me strange looks.

            "Ano...miss, what did you say to him?" The demon exterminator asked cautiously. I guess she must've been afraid I'd do something to her as well.

            "Nothing really. I don't even know if it made sense." I began doing my nervous twirling gesture again.

            "Oh."

            "Don't worry Sango." InuYasha called from behind us. "I think that Miroku is just so amazed at not being slapped. He'll get over it."

            Miroku sat up and looked dazed and confused. "Get over what?" Then he looked from me to Sango and quirked up one eyebrow. "Why, Sango have I told you how beautiful you look in this sunset?"

            **_Grope!_**

            **_Wack!_**

            Sango responded to the monk's advances with her hiraikotsu. 

            "Cool, I didn't know I could do something like that instead." I picked up a shovel and called out, "Hey, houshi Sama, ask me again."

            "Uh no thank you miss." Miroku replied shaking, his face had paled noticeably.

            "I thought so."

            "So, what is your name?" Sango asked after we had left the Miroku subject.

            "My name is Chibi. I came from the other side." 

            "You mean you're dead?"

            "No, I mean that InuYasha reached through my computer and kidnapped me for some ramen."

            "Ano, Chibi san? What's a computer?"

            "Uh...it's...dammit! It's like a typewriter that has a screen and you can save things."

            "What's a typewriter?"

            "It's uh...." I had to think harder for this than I did for my reply to Miroku. Thankfully, Kagome came to my rescue.

            "It's like a scroll and ink, only the ink is on stamps." The schoolgirl offered

            "Oh." Replied the exterminator, but she didn't sound too convinced or enlightened. Maybe Kagome shouldn't rescue anyone else.

            "Oookay, so, when do I get to go home?" I asked suddenly. There was a lull in the whole damned conversation and I really did want to get back home even if I didn't like where I lived.

            Miroku had recovered from the attacks to his head and came over by us girls to converse." Hmm, maybe you can use the Bone Eater's well like Kagome sama?"

            "I don't think so." Replied Kagome.

            "I think I'd end up in modern day Japan if I did go through the well." I said.

            "You aren't from Kagome's era?" Asked the monk, he was obviously confused. "You're dressed like her."

            I was wearing a faded blue t-shirt that had Empire State Riding Academy in yellow letters and a horse and rider jumping through the words and a pair of dark blue jeans. "I _am_ from her era."

            "Then why don't you want to end up in modern Japan?" Countered the dim-witted monk.

            "Because I'm not from Japan." Was my reply

            "Then where are you from?"

            I fought the urge to say 'I'm from Uranus because that would just get him more confused. "I'm from America."

            Miroku, Sango, and InuYasha opened their mouths to ask what America was, so I held up my hand.  "Your countrymen haven't discovered it yet. It's a country half way around the...." I stopped and noticed the blank looks I was getting. "Oh, forget it, I just can't get back home through the well."

            InuYasha looked hurt, I was beginning to think that he _did_ want me to go. Either that, or he was just really upset with me for giving Sesshomaru the ramen even if it did save our lives. I was about to ask him if he'd rather I had let him be killed by Sesshomaru when Miroku opened his mouth with an idea.

            "Well, I guess you'll just have to go home with Kagome anyway and walk home from there." The monk replied seriously. Honestly he looked as though he had found the cure for migraines or something. Actually I think I would've laughed at his comment if my entire future wasn't at stake.

            "She can't _walk_ home from my era Miroku," Kagome announced calmly. "She'd have to walk across water."

            "Okay then back to the-what was that expression you used Kagome Sama?"

            "Drawing board." InuYasha supplied sulkily. 

'Gods, what a child.' I thought to myself, then my stomach growled. I hoped someone else's did the same thing so I could avoid looking like a greedy person. Luckily Fate seemed to feel I had received enough troubles for one day and  let InuYasha's stomach do the talking.

"Kagome, do you have any ramen left from your last trip to your time?" he asked in a pitiful voice. InuYasha sounded so pathetic that if he hadn't called me so many names earlier, I would've felt bad for the poor guy.

"Oy, InuYasha you must have a bottomless pit for a stomach, but it is time for supper I guess." Kagome replied while turning to her humongous yellow backpack. The girl then proceeded to pull out fifteen large bowls of ramen. Not those little Maru chan cup-o-noodles that Wal*Mart sells either, the good ones with the kanji and the spices. The kind they sell in the international foods section at large grocery stores. The ones that my husband stocks up on and eats like there's no tomorrow. I began to hope I wasn't drooling.

Fifteen minutes later we were all sitting around an improvised campsite on the outskirts of the village eating the good ramen. Okay, _they_ were eating the ramen, _I_ was trying to maneuver my chopsticks then eat the noodles before they all fell back into the bowl. InuYasha found this funny and I wanted to dump my bowl of ramen on that guy's head. Of course, Miroku decided to some up with another ingenious idea.

"Why don't you just eat it with your hands instead of using the chopsticks?" he asked perplexed.

"Because hot things hurt." I replied, thinking longingly of my eight place setting silverware set back in my apartment. I had forks back home. Somehow I managed to finish the ramen by the time everyone was getting ready for bed.

Okay, did you like it or hate it? Just think, this one was out two weeks after the last chapter! Okay well uh, review for me please. I hope this story is still up to par with my readers.

**_Stories under construction:_**

**Queer Eye for the Hanyou guy-** I'm getting ready to start the fifth chapter this Tuesday after Queer Eye

**Advice from Big Brother-**Second chapter is almost finished, but it needs some refining. Expect chapter 2 Sesshomaru's first Piece of Advice next week-hopefully.

**I Believe in Love**- My first GW/SM fan fiction, along with my first romance. Chapter two Wide Open Spaces is in the works right now and should be out by Thursday.


	4. Chapter 4: Damn Those Leaves!

Never Eat Ramen Near a DSL 

Chapter Four: Damn Those Leaves!

**Authoress' Warning Sleep Deprivation is a marvelous thing. I don't suggest you try it, but it's a marvelous thing none-the-less.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the rights to InuYasha, my cat does.**

            It's nighttime. I don't know what hour it is because the stupid Indiglo light on my watch is malfunctioning. I keep tossing and turning in my sleeping bag I don't know how anyone else can be fast asleep. The ground is rocky, the bugs are loud and InuYasha _snores_…like a chainsaw. You can't tell the hanyou that though. For one thing he doesn't knowwhat a chainsaw is in the first place for another, all he does is "Feh." and go back to sleep. And don't even get me started on Miroku. The monk talks in his sleep. I can hear him murmuring about Sango to be honest it's a bit creepy.

            "Ne, Sango" Miroku calls out in his sleep. "Bring that pie in from the rain and we can have it together." See what I mean, very creepy.

            I try to find a comfortable position on the lumpy ground and a sharp rock jabs me in the spine. "Great, now not only will I be bruised all over, I have the great pleasure of being paralyzed by a bolder!" I mutter to myself. I guess my muttering wakes Kagome. Damn the magical effects of trans-dimensional travel

            "Chibi chan?" Kagome asks in a worried tone, "Are you alright? I can let you borrow that other sleeping pad."

            "No I'm good." I lie. I absolutely hate to be a bother to people. I don't mind lying to people, but I hate being troublesome to them. I hope my lie is convincing enough for Kagome. 'Next time I go to the feudal era.' I tell myself groaning, 'I'm bringing an air mattress and my tent. I'm not cut out for roughing it.'

            "Okay Chibi chan." Kagome finally says, I hear her roll over and try to go back to sleep. That girl is something else I think enviously as I hear her start to snore softly.

            "Psst, wench." I hear InuYasha hiss.

            "Ne, what do you want _this_ time InuYasha?" I ask irritated. I really want to get back to attempting to sleep. "And the name's Chibi that's C-H-I-B-I or however they put it in Kanji."

            InuYasha hops down from his perch and gives me one of his patented whatever looks. "Sure, but I was just going to say that if you get yourself a pile of leaves, it'll be more comfortable. And you look rather uncomfortable."

            I feel a bit embarrassed for being so rude to him, but still, the guy called me wench so I do have a reason. "Oh, thanks, I'll try that." I get up and wander over towards the tree InuYasha had recently vacated that seems like a logical place to find leaves. I'm in luck; I find a large pile right under the tree. Then I start to wonder about what types of poisoness insects a infesting those leaves. "Screw the leaves!" I say loudly. Maybe a bit too loudly because the next thing I know everybody's up in camp and I see Sango rushing towards me and the tree with a look on her face.

            "Is everything okay?" She asks panting. Poor Sango, she sounds really tired. I feel awful and have a sudden urge to hit InuYasha with a tree branch.

            "Everything's fine." I say trying my best to be reassuring "I uh, saw a snake and it scared me."

            "So you yelled 'screw the leaves'?" Kagome asked shocked. "You Americans have funny habits."

            "Well, yeah. I was gonna use the leaves for padding, but after I saw the snake I just figured screw the leaves."

            "Ah, I see." Kagome really didn't seem to see at all, but at least it made sense to her.

            "Okay people, show's over go to bed." InuYasha demanded shooting me a dirty look. I shot that look back just as quick. After all _he _was the one who told me to get the leaves in the first place so….

            'He'd be great in a bright orange jumpsuit' I thought to myself as I trudged back to my spot by the fire. A sleeping pad had replaced the empty ground underneath my sleeping bag. Kagome was staring over at me so I gave her the peace sign, which she returned.

            I was probably asleep for about an hour and a half when I hear InuYasha scream like a fairy princess. Apparently everyone else did too because the next thing I know there's a mad rush towards his tree.

                        **The End-For now!**

**            Okay, another chapter up and ready for review. Please do so since reviewing will guarantee that I'll do a good job keeping up with this story! Which is important because in the next chapter you'll find out what InuYasha was screaming about!**

**Behold the process of Powered Cheese!-**


	5. Chapter 5 Where I Learn That Thinking ca...

Never Eat Ramen Near a DSL 

**Authoress's Warning: I'm evil get over it! Oh, and I promise this chapter will be extremely screwed up**

**Dedication: This chapter is dedicated to Zelda Chic 04 who was kind enough to include me in her fanfiction entitled: The day they came. **

**Disclaimer: Some day I shall win the Mega Millions lottery and then I shall own InuYasha!**

**Chapter Five: Where I Prove That Thinking is a Dangerous Thing**

"Ai ya! What happened to my yukata!?" The hanyou's cries break the silence of the pre-dawn forest like a bull in a china shop.****

            "Nani kore?" Kagome asks rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Shippo is walking over towards InuYasha when he stops mid stride and begins laughing hysterically, the young fox youkai is soon joined by the demon slayer and the monk. Kagome and I arrive last, but have no trouble spotting InuYasha. Or should I say InuYasha 's outfit. He's in a bright orange jumpsuit, like the one's the County Jail hands out to the inmates.

            "InuYasha, what are you wearing?" Sango asks, she sounds as shocked as she looks.

            "Well, it _was _my fire rat fur yukata, but now it's…." InuYasha turned his head to look at the back of his new jumpsuit. "Property of Zelda-Chic04? Nani?"

            "Heh, I wonder how that happened. As far as I know Zelda-Chic04 is in her _own _fanfiction." I said happily. "Besides, she'd never claim you as property, I think she'd rather have Link and…well, now I'm going off on a tangent so I think I'll just..."

"You'll give me back my red yukata bitch!" InuYasha yelled.

"I don't know how!" I shouted back. " And if you call me that word one more time I won't even try to figure it out. Besides, I don't think red is really your color-for that matter neither is orange-I think you'd look much nicer in carnation pink." No sooner had those words come out of my mouth had InuYasha been given a carnation colored yukata.

"Man, talk about strange." Kagome remarked. Everyone else just stood there dumbfounded. "How did you do that Chibi chan?"

"Dammed if I know." I replied ruefully. "All I did was say, 'I think'."

"Try it again." Sango urged overhearing our conversation. "Maybe we can find a way to fix this mess."

"Okay, I'll try. I think Miroku would look great in SailorChibiMoon's fuku." I finished my sentence then just like with InuYasha, Miroku was sporting SailorChibiMoon's fuku which, for those of you who don't know, consists of cotton candy pink boots, a short skirt in matching pink, white top red bow with the henshin brooch in the middle, pink sailor collar, pink choker with a yellow crescent moon and white gloves with pink edging. My imagination had even seen fit to give the unfortunate houshi the tiara with the red stone and SailorChibiMoon's yam ondango the poor guy even had pink hair. I was just thankful that whatever magic might have been surfacing inside me stopped at the evil red eyes. 

"So, what happened?" Miroku asked innocently.

Sango was trying her hardest not to laugh, but Shippo and InuYasha, who had forgotten about his yukata for the time being, were rolling on the ground convulsing with laughter. I was too shocked to move, I couldn't believe that I had managed to do something like that. Luckily for all of us, Kagome had enough composure to fish a mirror out of her giant yellow bag and handed it to the poor guy.

The monk took the large hand mirror from Kagome and promptly began screaming like a girly girl "Ahh, get it off! Get it off!" He jumped around as well which made Shippo and InuYasha laugh even harder. 

"Serves…you…right…ecchi." Sango choked out through her hysterics

I smirked. "Well, I guess my mom was right when she said that imagination was a powerful thing."

"GET IT OFF ME NOW!" Miroku cried. He was still in the fuku.

"Okay, let's see if I can fix this. I think Miroku would look better in his own damn clothes!" Just like before, Miroku was back in his black robe with the purple cloak and wearing his sandals as though nothing strange had gone on.

"Ahem" InuYasha coughed.

"That was pretty neat." Shippo said jumping onto Kagome's shoulder. "I've never seen anything like that before."

"Excuse me!"

"Neither have I, Shippo." I replied thoughtfully. "Most of the magick I know of just concerns healing or meditation. I've never heard of this type of magick where a person's clothing is changed by thought. Perhaps just a different type of magic I guess."  Honestly I was a bit worried, I'm not supposed to be able to do these things, _nobody _is. 'Damn dimensional differences.' I growled to myself closing my eyes, upon opening them I found InuYasha standing in front of me snarling and glaring at me.

"Excuse me Chibi san," The silver haired hanyou begins through clenched fangs, "but could you possibly change me back into my _red_ yukata? Not pink, not a bright orange thing that says I'm property of Zelda Chic04. My _red_ yukata." 

"Eh, I guess so, but this pink really brings out that blush in your cheeks when you look at Kagome." I grin wickedly and silently hope that Kagome overheard me. "Okay, InuYasha, I think you'd look best in that red yukata you _always_ wear, day in and day out." I finish my sentence and InuYasha becomes the Hanyou in Red again, grinning like the crazy half human I believe him to be.

"Domo arigato Chibi chan." He says bowing politely.

"Eh, whatever."

@-----@-----@----@----@-----@----@----__

The day drags on and the sun beats down on us weary travelers relentlessly. Around noon Kagome and the rest of the group, minus Shippo fought a small frog demon and recovered a piece of the Shikon no Tama. The fight is rather uneventful, more importantly; I didn't get involved since I'd probably be in the way. I didn't tell myself that-even though I knew it was a fact-InuYasha had taken the liberty to tell me I'd only burden them by trying to fight and to please keep an eye on Shippo. I obeyed, but stuck my tongue out at the retreating hanyou. Trying to keep Shippo entertained was slightly harder than watching my aunt's dog, but not nearly as difficult as watching my friend's children.

I told Shippo the story of Rumplestiltskin. But instead of telling him that the evil elf tried to steal the baby and exploded in the end I told him of how the greedy king had threatened to kill the miller's daughter since she couldn't spin straw into gold after the third time and ignored his child since it was a girl. The ending was very different because the miller's daughter left with Rumplestiltskin and her daughter, the elf even named the baby himself, calling her Abigail, which means Father's Joy. The kitsune seemed to enjoy that story, especially the part about that you can't stop to think about love. I felt that the best part was my story being over at the same time as the battle. This battle also seemed to be relatively easy since nobody was maimed or bloody-save for a small cut above InuYasha's eye thanks to a tree branch.

 "Ne, InuYasha, would you like a band-aid for that cut?" Kagome asked in a worried tone of voice.

InuYasha "Fehed" as was expected of him. 

I was beginning to wonder if the hanyou and Hiiro Yui had taken acting lessons together, the only difference being replies to questions. Their attitudes were somewhat similar, but one thing that InuYasha had going for him was a sane girl who had a crush on him. Poor Hiiro had Relena. Before I realized what I was doing I started thinking of InuYasha wearing black Lycra shorts with a green tank top tucked into them. When I looked up the only thing missing from the picture was a Gundam and a blank stare. InuYasha was glaring at me again. 'Oh well, at least I didn't think him into a bunny costume' I told myself.

"_Well?"_ I looked up from my spot on the ground to see the amber-eyed, ill-tempered hanyou glaring down at me for the third time today. "Aren't you going to fix this?"

"Can I think about it?" I asked smirking. InuYasha didn't find that very funny so I decided to humor him and think the guy back into his regular clothes.

We walked for the rest of the day until Sango spotted a village in the distance. It was around dinnertime and I could hear InuYasha's stomach growling in a most obvious fashion. Kagome must have heard it too because she gave the hanyou such a glare he winced. Upon reaching the village Miroku spotted the most prosperous looking hut in the place and alerted the owner of an evil aura. Of course the owner was more than happy to allow a monk to exorcise the evil in return for us boarding at his residence. Once settled in Miroku put us all to work putting up the anti-evil scrolls.

"Eh, what do these say?" I asked putting up a piece of paper with strange characters on it. Of course as an American I was lucky to know the kanji for equestrian and that was only because it was tattooed on my shoulder. I wasn't even sure if it really meant equestrian, for all I knew it could mean dog shit.

Miroku shrugged. "Well, that one means 'prosperity and wealth'. The one I'm holding says 'sticky rice'."

My eyes widened and I whispered. "You mean these people can't read and you're tricking them?"

Miroku nodded sheepishly and looked prepared for a tongue-lashing.

"Nice idea." 

The rest of the 'anti-evil scrolls were placed through out the building and Miroku and I joined the others for dinner, a dinner that _didn't_ involve ramen. Then we got ready for bed

Okay, I'm going to end it here…for now. Oh and do the shout outs from past reviews. Adrelliehs, Inugirl0621, Dark Angel Pearl, and, of course, Zeld-Chic04. Thank you for reading and reviewing. And I hope you all enjoyed the mental image of Miroku as SailorChibiMoon.

**_New Chapter Alerts:_**

**I Believe in Love- fourth chapter almost finished**

**Advice from Big Brother- On hold until I figure out what to do to InuYasha**

**Everything Right is Wrong Again-Chapter three almost completed**

**Sango and Miroku's Camping Adventure- I'm stuck, but I promise I'll get inspired soon**

**And finally Queer Eye For the Hanyou Guy- A new episode is airing tonight (17,Feb 2004) So I should be able to start or maybe finish the Fifth chapter soon just like I said before. Anyone who wants to a cameo, please email me-I'll try my damnest.**


	6. Chapter 6: Of Sesshomaru and Pink Bunny ...

Never Eat Ramen Near a DSL 

**Authoress's Warning- Well, let's see. Oh, look both ways before getting sucked into your computer!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own much. I own a bright red 2003 Olds Alero, a bunch of stories I haven't finished and a ¾ full bottle of Clinique Happy Heart. I don't own InuYasha or Ramen. Okay, that's said and done-I'm going to go cry.**

**Chapter Six: Sesshomaru and the Fluffy Pink Bunny Suit**

Kagome and the rest of us woke up at the butt-crack of dawn and began to eat a breakfast of sticky rice and pickled vegetables. More accurately _they_ ate sticky rice and pickled vegetables. I struggled to get the clumps of rice to my mouth, used my fingers to prod at the vegetables before tentively trying a pickled radish then some cucumber. Then I let my mind wander to Golden Grahams and grape juice, or maybe blueberry pancakes. I sighed.

Kagome looked at me funny. "Ne, Chibi chan, are you alright?" she asked carefully placing her wooden bowl on the floor.

"Yeah, except I can't figure out how you can sit like this for extended periods of time."

Kagome shrugged and commenced to finishing her breakfast while I silently mourned my Kellogg's S'mores cereal, bagels, cream cheese and kitchen table with chairs.

After breakfast we head out on the road again and I couldn't help myself, I started humming 'On the Road Again.' Of course it got on InuYasha's nerves, so I did it even more and louder.

"Bitch, stop with the humming already!" The hanyou growled at me.

I _really_ didn't like being called bitch; I had once broken a guy's nose for that word. Of course, that was before I discovered the power of imagination. "Eh, InuYasha, I think you'd look lovely in an electric pink tutu with neon orange tights, a lime green leotard and pink toe shoes." No sooner had I finished that sentence then just like yesterday InuYasha was in the outfit I had imagined him in. Yes, it was ugly and maybe a bit cruel of me. And no, this power didn't make enemies fall before me or make me powerful, but it sure as Hell relieved stress. "Eh, InuYasha, never call me bitch again or you'll have a fate worse than People Magazine's Worst Dressed List." I added as I walked up with Sango and Kagome. Turning around I added "Oh, and I'll think you back into your red yukata when you come up and apologize."

Kagome must have heard my threat to InuYasha and shuddered. "You wouldn't _really _do that to him, would you Chibi chan?" She asked carefully pushing her bike. "I've seen that Worst Dressed List."

"Eh, I'll think about it, but InuYasha should really shape up and start being nicer to everyone. Especially you Kagome, didn't you save him from Kikyo's arrows?"

Kagome only got a chance to nod because from the back of the group we all heard the familiar voice of Sesshomaru.

"InuYasha, what brings you here?" the Tai Youkai asked in a condescending tone of voice. "And with all your humans as well?"

"So, what's it to you?" InuYasha asked, still in his ballet costume designed by yours truly. I don't know why Sesshomaru didn't notice it since he claims to be so much more superior to his half youkai brother and humans in general. Maybe he's color blind I reasoned since most dogs are. I said as much to Sango and Kagome.

"No, despite being an amazing fighter, he's pretty slow on the uptake when it comes to anything else." Sango said. "Don't worry he'll notice it in three…two…one…."

"InuYasha what is that ridiculous get up you're wearing?" Sesshomaru finally gasped? His face had actually changed from the usually expressionless mask to a mixture of confusion and humor.

InuYasha looked down at his clothes and then turned quickly to glare accusingly at me. It was very lucky for InuYasha that his brother was still preoccupied with outfit or Sesshomaru would have probably taken a swing at him for turning away.

"Oh, sorry!" I yelled from the safety of the front of the group. "InuYasha, I think you'd look much better in your red yukata!" I said that and InuYasha was back to normal, well normal for InuYasha at least.

"Thank you." InuYasha replied grudgingly

"Eh, don't mention it!" I called back cheerfully. I was already plotting for the next misstep. 'Pink bunny costume, can I get a boo-ya?' I thought to myself. I guess I shouldn't have even _thought _that one.

"Ne, Sesshomaru sama…" Jaken began uncertainly. It figures that wherever Sesshomaru went, the toad youkai was sure to go.

"Jaken, go take care of Rin. I need to repay my brother for giving this Sesshomaru the ramen that gave me heartburn.

"Demo, Sesshomaru sama."

"Ano, onee Sama. What are you wearing?" InuYasha asked using a somewhat appropriate honorfic on for his brother, but not the appropriate word, the hanyou had just called his older brother older sister.

Sesshomaru choose not to acknowledge that fact for at the moment he was looking down at his formerly glorious attire, which was now a fuzzy pink bunny suit. He even had a cute little tail and cute floppy pink ears.

"Ooh, Sesshomaru sama looks so kawaii!" I exclaimed happily. I was so pleased with my handiwork it really didn't occur to me to be afraid of what the Tai youkai could do if he saw fit to be angry with me. "You could be the Easter Bunny at the local mall!"

"The what at the what?" InuYasha asked confused and still looking like a punked up ballerina. Apparently seeing his brother dressed in a pink bunny suit made the hanyou forget his predicament.

"The Easter Bunny at the mall. The costume is perfect thanks to yours truly all he needs is some chocolate eggs and a better personality."

Sesshomaru snorted, "This Sesshomaru sama would never consider dressing up as a rabbit."

"Well, _you_ may not consider it, but _I _sure did." I muttered to myself.

"This Sesshomaru sama is enraged and wishes to be placed back in his clothing."

"I don't know." InuYasha replied obviously enjoying his older brother's predicament still forgetting his own for the time being. "You look rather pretty in pink."

Sesshomaru sighed. "This Sesshomaru sama could say the same for you little brother. Are those tights?"

"What?" InuYasha looked down at his outfit and realized his predicament again. "Oh Chibi san, could you possibly fix this please?"

"After we get going." I replied curtly grabbing the hanyou's wrist and dragging him away from his older, pink-bunny-suited brother. When we were safely over the next hill and heading towards some woods. I finally did the think thing. "I think Sesshomaru would do nicely in his own clothes again."

"Ahem." InuYasha impatiently tapped one ballet slippered toe.

"Are you going to apologize for all the mean things you've said to me? And how cold you've been to Kagome?"

InuYasha merely nodded his head.

"For the time being then, I think you should be in your red yukata." Then I yawned . "You know this is all fun and all, but putting youkai and hanyou in new clothes makes a person sleepy." And with that I laid down on the grass and closed my eyes.

**Well, it took me three months and two weeks, but another chapter is finally completed and ready for review. How long do you think I'll get to sleep this time?**

**Hall of reviewers:**

**ZeldaChic04- Well you were kind enough to put me in one of your stories so I figured I'd try to return the favor while I thought of what to do with my Queer Eye InuYasha crossover. It's the least I could do for all the kind reviews you give me.**

**DarkAngelPearl- I hope the scene with Sesshomaru dressed in a bunny costume caused you some enjoyment.**

**Kikyo2005- Thank you for your kind review, you made me blush.**

**MapleRose-I hope that Sesshomaru in a bunny costume worked out for you. And as for the language thing well, the best way I can explain it is that in computer land everyone understands everyone.**

**Kay- Well, I turned InuYasha into a freaky looking ballerina and Sesshomaru into a very grumpy bunny. Not as scary as the Miroku thing though. And thank you for your review**


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